How to kill a lobster

We recently drove up to Vermont and Maine for a much needed vacation. Of course, we performed the requisite food touring-- visited four amazing bakeries, 2 local farms, including this one, and ate our fair share of woopie pies, which appear to be a New England staple.

But our food tour would not have been complete if we had not also explored the local lobster scene. Our first night of lobster consumption took place at an amazing dive of a place, Beal's Lobster Peer, and I would recommend it to anyone who happens to fine themself near Bar Harbor. This is a no frills type of joint-it's all about the lobster. As the name implies, it's located right on a peer and you can only imagine that the lobsters that you will soon be happily chowing on were perhaps only a few days ago crawling on the floors of the ocean of which you have an amazing view as you enjoy dinner. Anyways, at this restaurant, you walk in and are immediately faced with a long line of hungry people in front of which stands an open tank that is full of live lobster. Once you make your way to the front of the line, you give your order (soft or hard shelled lobster were the basic choices in our case), the person taking your order then quickly picks up a lobster, places it in a mesh bag with a tag that presumably contains your order information, and at that point, say a prayer for Jimmy the lobster because his destiny has been fully determined. Indeed, soon after your order is placed the lobster is submerged in a large metal tub of boiling hot water--rest in peace, dear lobster friend. About 10 minutes later, one of the kind employees of Beal's calls your number and you pick up your tray containing the whole boiled lobster, butter sauce for dipping, and whatever sides you've chosen (corn and the cob, scallops, and fries in our case). Then remember to get napkins because the eating part is a messy operation. Admittedly I only had a few bites of lobster that night. It was delicious though. The meat was chewy, tender, sweet, and so flavorful that it was truly remarkable that the only cooking performed was a short submersion in boiling water.

After that first night of lobster eating we were feeling pretty comfortable with lobster consumption--confident enough, in fact, to try cooking some on our own. We stopped in Portland Maine and bought 4 lobsters at a harbor-side store. For 10 dollars, a kind employee packed our live lobsters on ice and sea kelp in a styrophome cooler.





We then made the 5 hour drive from Maine to Conneticut. The experience of riding with the 4 lobsters in the back of our car is worth mentioning; since every 20 minutes or so of the drive I very cautiously peeked back at the cooler, which was surprisingly quiet and still. Each time I took this peek I experienced a strange mixture of fear, sadness, and excitement.

It was only when we arrived that we began to feel very nervous about the execution that was about to take place-we had to do the killing ourselves this time. After some research we determined that there are 3 schools of thought on methods for killing a lobster: 1.) use a knife to rapidly slice through the body, so that the death is short and sweet 2.) plunge into boiling water, as done at Beal's-this is the quick and dirty method, or 3.) place the lobster in cool salt water on the stove top and slowly raise the heat until the water is boiling, thus sensetising the lobster to the heat. The males amongst of were adament that the first option was the superior of the three. As such, excecutor number 1 took a large knife and sliced through the body of the lobster. Well, let me tell you--this did not go as planned.



The lobster continued to squirm after the first cut, then after the second, the third, and then fourth. So much for a fast and humane death for that lobster. Finally, still unsure as to whether the lobster was dead or not, we plunged that first poor lobster's broken body into boiling water. We went with option 3 for the remaining lobsters: we submerged each in salt water, slowly raised the temperature until the water was boiling, let the water boil for 5 minutes, and then left them to simmer in the water for an additional 15. I do think that this is the best option for killing a lobster--we didn't hear a peep out of the lobsters.

I am very glad that I did this, that I cooked my own lobster. Having said that, I don't know that I will ever do it again. The entire experience is extremely carnal and I do think that, at the end of the day, I am more of a vegetarian at heart.